Healed Masculine in our hearts
Ultimately, God runs my business and my body of work.
What that means is that what I do Comes from a deeper listening as well as strategy and all the nitty gritty stuff.
If we can’t find our way home to the heart of what matters to us most, are we even living?
It’s Father’s day today and nothing supports my feminine run business the way the relationship to my inner father does! (And my father in the afterlife more on that here.)
We can’t just keep creating things based from what we think we should do or what we’ve done in the past, that’s what leads to burn out and that cringe feeling you get when someone isn’t being authentic but is doing something “good for the world.”
Creating from care rather than cringe means I’m commited to doing the thing I teach.
Listening to my intuition and the Goddesses calls in my life which aren’t always easy to hear. We have to make literal space for them.
Running a business lead by Spirit which means not just in my own timeline but in alignment with what and who I am meant to serve and when. None of that is entirely up to me, ever.
An eternal surrender to love that not only restricts me from stepping forward with things not congruent with my values but also results in having more discernment with my choices aka boundaries.
I’ve always been a yes person. A people pleasure to the darkest corners of co dependency and betrayal.
What I learned from those experiences in that I need support to give myself the love we all deserve, and to truly serve from a place that is not just coming from a deeper need or lack.
Serving from a deeper need or lack will only give us more of ur self— even if there’s financial success it will never feel enough or we’ll still be shady about money. Even if there spiritual gain our scarcity may show up in our relationships or inability to pay our bills.
What it means to be of service is not about hustling but it it is about being held. Receiving. When we are open to receive, we don’t have to decide how it’s going to happen, but we also have the confidence to take the baby steps in the right direction.
When we commit to our own growth with the intention of not just filling the black hole in our hearts with more ways we should be that we’re not, but tend to the love wound we all carry to be together in co creation with one another and the Earth herself…
miracles occur.
And tbh it’s just FUN!
I don’t do more trainings from a place of unworthiness or not enough-ness, I do it because i LOVE to learn and to be of service in the highest way possible. But i have to keep that part of me in check because it’s a fine line between pushing from a patriarchal pattern and my wild creative souls obsession with growth and transformation.
But there is a difference. One way i keep an eye on it is to follow the pulls of my soul towards tending to care for my own body, heart and soul and trust what i am told. (For example i was recently pulled to an ancestral pilgrimage to Italy spontaneously and I’m following it!)
I keep learning CONSTANTLY about the body and the way it’s speaks becaus eI love it so much and feel strongly so much of our suffering and ignorance of the Earths wisdom is rooted in our lack of education around the many ways to create connection.
It’s been 18 years exploring how to heal the body and soul split naturally from yoga asana to pranayama to interpretive and ecstatic dance to astrology and embodiment, energy healing to Tantra to inner yoga to the mature feminine path to relational work to the nervous system, emotional healing, physiology and massage.
Since I graduated college with a bachelors degree in learning nothing, I set out to create my own education and have learned more in these 18 years than all the years of formal education I received.
I was always an obsessive reader and writer but I hated school. I couldn’t sit still and the rules make my skin crawl. I was constantly roaming the halls, skipping classes and once I was old enough to do drugs, they became my great escape from a system that didn’t speak to me.
I don’t like hanging out in bars, I like breathing and dancing together in a sober way and enjoying nourishing food and having deep, rich conversations that film and inspire and traveling to scared lands in worship and reverence and believing in myself and you and the change we came to create inside and out and reading poetry together and practicing the kind of intimacy that scares us but in a positive way that heals our early childhood trauma.
I came to create not like a machine but like the devotional queen I have grown to know and love. like the king I’ve always feared and wanted to be protected by. I opened to them in my heart and I became them.
I became me without the insult of someone spiritual ego making me less than because they haven’t found God everywhere yet and without the torment of my past that has only pulled me into a greater relationship to the wholeness that I am held in.
We are all, in fact, are a miracle. To be born at all in a human form is a blessing that I believe must be acknowledged or we end up in the unconscious cycles of beating ourselves and one another up. Physically, emotionally and in the most subtle ways that ultimately keep us separate from love herself.
The most true thing I can say today is that I am still scared of love, but I’m open to it. That the walls I’ve had built up around my heart, the fires I’ve started to keep it away are finally coming down.
And I’m grateful to be this raw, open and in service to those who come to feel nurtured by the light of love we share.
The moon is in Pisces—here is a meditation to support your healed masculine practice today through creating safety in your senses….
