Shameless- The generosity of spirit
I'm a Venus in Pisces girlie so love, beauty and art are all connected. Continuously creating is one of the ways I have healed shame. This is part of what makes me super available when we access the depths of intimacy.
The edges of intimacy (my book title?) are meant to show you the beautiful and painful side, of your own edge. It has to feel like a risk to say the thing, or do what is true in your heart, if it's real intimacy with Love herself, or another.
It has to challenge and change us to grow into who we already are inside and into the more we've been taught to ignore but God will ask of us if we're being real.
We become risk adverse when we have experienced, or inherited, trauma that can make every unknown paralyze us in fear or stay lost in cycles of anger and resentment. Or it can feel like death, and most of us have not been trained to be with death, or endings in any way, never mind in a positive or life affirming approach.
Five things that helped me heal shame:
1. Singing and mantras. Learning how to love the feeling of the vibration of my voice in my heart and chest has changed the way I speak and gave me access to God in indescribable ways. Singing in ecstasy and in agony to Divine Love has changed me. Letting the wild devotion in me, the part that wants someone or something else to be in charge have a safe place to express has bee life changing.
2.Writing and reading. Having save spaces to write whatever I want, the very thing that is alive and there in the moment, and then read it outlaid to another who can listen without judgement has changed my experience of being seen completely. To be heard through the ears of appreciation stirs our soul, in a good way. Relationship, including the one we have with ourselves, thrives on acknowledgement.
3. Validation and generous reflections. Being a love misfit and artist can be hard sometimes. Life and your own practice will put you face to face with the parts of you that no one came to love but you. Having good friends and professionals regularly reflect the beauty, wisdom, sensitivity, genius, power, passion and strength in us, is imperative. It has to come from someone who has also walked in the depths of despair and wild desire too.
4. Yoni mirror and mapping. This practice immediately took my many years of meditating and connecting to the Divine right into my human and female body. That alone is revolutionary. Yes even in 2024 I can tell you women and people with vaginas still carry shame around just having a pussy. It makes sense–there have been many years of oppression, rejection–and to this day in the collective women are not as recognized and valued as much as men. It's insane, I know, but this practice really puts you in touch (with consent) with the freedom in your flesh. The love between your womb and heart, literally. Your ability to perceive other realms. With the Divine, and with your deepest desires.
5. Learning sensation - physical and emotional - in commmunity. The trauma release work and somatic education I have learned and now teach (every Friday in our membership,) radically altered the way I perceive myself and the world. Story follows state in this work and the body is the subconscious. So in terms of transformation and working with the stuckness we all encounter in love and living our truth, it's incomparable in its effectiveness.
6. Generosity (lives in your Spirit) and Service. Going deeper than what is showing up immediately to be of service to someone else, can heal so much more than worrying on yourself all the time. The quality of generosity, of really giving a fuck about what and how we are creating, how we are relating, really matters to me. Growing up in a home with an addict, lack was rooted deep me. This is shame. The tenderness of the human heart not properly held. The generosity of my friends and people who have helped and believed in me are worth a million suns.
The thing is, this work must be done in relationship. In community.
We are here for you my shameless friend serving what RuPaul called CUNT (charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent)!
PS. If you’re curious about learning more about embodying Shamelessness join our writing class 2/28 here or we can connect in our online 9 month mentorship (get on the waitlist here) or in person in our May Ceremony in Santa Fe, details here!
X
Adriana
